torn into two?

every one's asleep and I'm thinking about you.
both of you.
the times we shared.
to YOU.
i thought my love could survive all things.
i could survive you.
but then.
last Thursday,
i wasn't so sure anymore.
any longer.
my life has never been a straight path.
and it proved itself on Thursday.
or when i think about him.
him and her.
my heart just get swerved and then hit.
and then the new you.
i don't know.
I'm torn.
you seem so much better.
but thoughts are just lies really.
you're a fool for a lover.
and it shows itself again and again.
i hate myself.
HELP?